1、这个世界上我只相信两个人,一个是我,另一个不是你。                                                                                                                             

  2、生活真他妈好玩,因为生活老他妈玩我。                                                                                                                         

  3、好好学习,天天想上!                                                                                                                                

  4、花前月下,不如花钱“日”下。          

  5、爱情就是犯*,而且还是一次又一次的犯*。什么时候你不犯*了,女人就来了!                                                                                                          

  6、叶子的离开,是因为风的追求还是树的不挽留?                                                                                                                                                                                                      

  7、有些人就是这样不懂事,你不X他妈,他就不知道你是他爹。                                                                                                                                                                                          

  8、你以为我会眼睁睁地看着你去送死吗?我会闭上眼睛的!                                                                                                                                                                                              

  9、佛曰:“前世的500次回眸才换来今生的一次擦肩而过”。我宁愿用来世的一次擦肩而过来换得今生的500次回眸。                                       

  10、我拿什么整死你的爱人……             

  11、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛,可我却用它来翻白眼。                                    

  12、网络就像是监狱,本来是偷了个钱包进来的,等出去的时候就什么都学会了。               

  13、女娲日天,后羿射之。                                                               

  14、兄弟如手足,女人如衣服,谁动我手足,我扒他衣服!                                   

  15、我是个演员,一看见漂亮MM眼就圆……                                               

  16、上帝把所有人都骗了,因为地狱才是最美的!佛知道真相,所以佛说:“我不入地狱,谁入地狱?”

  17、我床上的不知道是谁媳妇,我媳妇不知道在谁的床上!                                   

 18、看到你我连食欲都没了,还谈什么性欲?                                              

  19、天使之所以会飞,是因为她们把自己看得很轻……                                      

  20、我想早恋,但是已经晚了……                                                        

 21、别人的失败就是我的快乐!                                                          

  22、天哪!我的衣服又瘦了。                                                            

  23、生下来的人没有怕死的,怕死的都TM没生下来,所以谁都别TM的装横!                  

  24、现实的社会,毁了我一个做好人的机会!                                              

  25、以后不要在我面前说英文,OK                                                      

  26、名花虽有主,我来松松土!                                                          

  27、有钱男子汉,没钱汉子难!                                                          

  28、我要是妞,早爱上我了……                                                          

  29、我以为我颓废,原来我报废了!                                                      

  30、问世间情为何物?圣人答曰:“废物!”                                              

  31、我不能给你幸福,但可以给你舒服!                                                  

  32、思想有多远,你就给我滚多远!                                                      

  33、流氓不可怕,就怕流氓有文化……                                                    

  34、客官请自重,小女子只卖身不卖艺。                                                  

  35、你不能让所有人满意,因为不是所有的人都是人!                                                                                                                         

  36、有事秘书干,没事干秘书。                                                          

  37、你给我一份爱,我还你一夜情!                                                      

  38、师太!你就从了老衲吧!                                                            

  39、我爱你!关你什么事?                                                               

  40、你的就是我的,我的还是我的!                                                      

  41、不错!人都是逼出来的。                                                            

  42、时间就像乳沟,只要挤一挤总还是有的!                                              

  43、做爱做的事,交配交的人!                                                          

  44、男人的谎言可以骗女人一夜,女人的谎言可以骗男人一生!                              

  45、鸳鸯戏水,都他妈淹死;比翼双飞,都他妈摔死。                                      

  46、承诺就象“CN妈”一样经常说却很难做得到!                                          

  47、我的爱人都叫我第三者!                                                            

  48、喜欢是淡淡的爱;爱是深深的喜欢!                                                  

  49、人不猥琐枉少年!                                                                  

  50、我不是一个随便的人,我随便起来不是人……                                          

  51、如果你不能给你的女人穿上嫁衣,那么千万别停下你解开她衣扣的手!                    

  52、宁可牺牲中国最后一个处男,决不留下日本任何一个处女!                              

  53、走牛B的路,让傻B去说吧!                                                        

  54、我不喜欢只和一个女人上很多次床,而是喜欢和很多女人只上一次床。                    

  55、我为兄弟两肋插刀,为女人插兄弟两刀。                                              

  56、怀才就像怀孕,时间久了才能让人看出来。                                             

  57、想污染一个地方有两种方法:用垃圾,或者用钞票!                                    

  58、水能载舟,亦能煮粥!                                                               

  59、子在川上曰:“有船多好!”                                                        

  60、骑白马的不一定是王子,可能是唐僧;有翅膀的不一定是天使,也可能是鸟人!            

  61、大学毕业才明白,原来不是我上大学,而是大学“上”我!                              

  62、我很丑可是我很持久!                                                               

  63、数钱数到手抽筋,睡觉睡到自然醒!                                                  

  64、有钱人终成眷属。                                                                  

  65、鸟大了什么林子都有!                                                               

  66、锄禾“日”当午,弯弓“射”大雕。                                                  

  67、万乐淫为首。                                                                      

  68、“捷克斯洛伐克”!我叫JACK,我老婆总这样抱怨我。                                  

  69、要挑熟女,裙子好揪。                                                               

  70、只有在大排长龙时,才能真正意识到自己是“龙的传人”。                                

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